Hello,
Thank you for clicking to read my blog post (the first one in FOREVER) I always start out by apologising that I haven’t written anything for a long time but I promise I won’t this time, not because I know it’s boring but to be honest with you I haven’t had a lot to talk about. As you all may know 2017 was not my year. From the very beginning of 2017 I had to deal with life changing events (my Type 1 Diagnosis) and I really feel that 2017 was the year that has truly shaped me as a young women. It has taught me so much about myself, both the good and the bad. It also taught me a lot about the people around me. At the beginning of the year I was in a bad place, my Diagnosis hit me really hard, a lot harder than I let on to everyone around me. I feel like I never had time to accept the diagnosis myself because the people around me were trying to accept it and I wanted them to think that I was ok, I didn’t want them to worry about me, but by doing this I never gave myself time and by not giving myself time I put myself in a really bad place physically and mentally. In many ways I really let myself go, my anxiety was sky high all year and I started to feel as if I didn’t know what I wanted out of my life anymore. It sounds pathetic I know and some of you are probably thinking “give it a rest now your not dying and there are people a lot worse off in the world” and I totally get that. There are people who are suffering from things a lot worse than me and I do try and tell myself that every day but when you have a chronic illness that really does control your life - it is hard and I am a firm believer that you shouldn’t judge other people for how they handle their own problems. Everyone handles things differently. Some people are better than others and I am not afraid to say that sometimes I feel like giving up and letting the illness take over me so I don’t have to deal with it anymore but most of the time I get on with it. I look around me and I remind myself how lucky I am to be alive with eyes that can see, ears that can hear and legs that can walk as well as having a loving group of family and friends who I know will always care for me.
What I am getting at from all this is that 2017 taught me that you can get through just about anything with a strong and loving support system. Family and friends are everything. For 2018 I have set myself so many goals that I want to reach by the end of the year. My main ones being putting my health and fitness first and also working on my anxiety so that I can finally stop doubting myself and begin working towards my dreams. It is sad that something so huge had to happen in order for me to find myself but I am so excited to see what the future holds when I really put my mind towards something I want. I have always given up on goals 2 weeks in but I refuse to let anything stop me this year and I am grateful that the universe through me in this direction.
I hope you all have an amazing 2018 and that it is filled with copious amounts of joy, love and happiness. The world is your oyster!
Love from Leah X
